(A parody of My Favourite Things from The Sound of Music)

Turning each argument into a battle
Using the logic and reasoning of cattle
Injecting each word with a communist sting
These are the follies of being left-wing.

Hiring dumb women to satisfy quotas
Killing our culture to please ethnic voters
Insulting men, it’s a feminist thing
These are the follies of being left-wing.

Cultural diversity, trees and “gay” marriage
Any view different from theirs they’ll disparage
Hating the thought of a queen or a king
These are the follies of being left-wing.

How they hate whites!
And the Christians!
These all drive them mad!
I think of the follies of being left-wing
So then, to be right-wing I’m glad!

Thinking they’ll rescue the planet from warming
Smug and self-righteous, you’ll see them all swarming
Cursing, destruction and hatred they bring
These are the follies of being left-wing.

Letting fanatics go free to cause panic
Rather than name them, for they too are manic
For precious tolerance in everything
These are the follies of being left-wing.

Limited loyalty and hunger for power
Fads and obsessions that last for an hour
Waiting for fame that their Twitter will bring
These are the follies of being left-wing.

They demand rights!
And their welfare!
And they hate their dad!
I think of their follies, and thank God and sing,
I’m right-wing, of that I’m glad!

– Emile Joseph

The author teaches the English language to adult migrants and is passionate about all things linguistic. He is also a serious conservative at heart, who treasures the beauty, the poetry and the gallantry of yesteryear. He is happily married with two young children in Sydney.

SydneyTrads is the internet portal and communication page of the Sydney Traditionalist Forum: an association of young professionals who form part of the Australian independent right (also known as “dissident right” or “outer right”).